These are hard days, I know. There’s little sleep, too many dishes, and always a diaper to change. And it seems there’s always some mom who has it all figured out, leaving you feeling less than adequate for not having scrapbooked the kids’ entire lives thus far. Or the fact that you have not used an iron in three years, or maybe just because they look so put together and your socks have not matched in forever, and because of this you feel guilty for your feelings of resentment.
So Mother’s day is upon us again, this will be my third one!
All the mommies were invited to Mishka’s school for a surprise, it turned out that all the little ones had to answer one question. “What is a mother?”
Sweet idea really and all the mommies had such a great time reading every little response from the horse’s mouth.
I finally got to Mishka’s answer and it read…
“a mother is a mother, she does dishes”
I laughed initially, and thought to myself, what an honest and straightforward answer.
As the days passed after Mother’s Day, I found myself staring at that little piece of paper that I so proudly stuck to my fridge.
Something about this bugged me, even though everyone else seemed very amused by it.
It dawned on me this morning, when I was once again doing dishes while Mishka moaned for tea, that “doing dishes” has become my identifier as mother.
Mishka could have answered
“a mother is my best friend” or
“a mother loves me the most’ or
“a mother dances with me” or
“ a mother makes the best food”
Any of these responses would have made me feel more adequate at my job as a mother.
It also made me realize that while I am so very busy with the dishes and laundry and supper, my son is growing up.
He is not identifying shapes and sounds anymore… He is identifying love and effort and …me
So for the next year I am going to stop being this control freak that I am turning into, I am going to take that glass of wine outside and sit in the mud, and I am going to spend quality time with my boy…even if the dishes are dirty and supper has not been prepared.
I still have time to change my “identifier”, I still have time to spend with him.
The dishes can wait, they don’t divine me…my little Mishka does
Happy Mother’s Day to you all… You are awesome.
